


Library Reminicses

by whatsallthisabout



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Established Relationship, History, Library, M/M, snoring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-18 12:19:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8161870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatsallthisabout/pseuds/whatsallthisabout
Summary: Late night reading brings on confessions.





	

Time Lords don’t really sleep much. That’s probably why he didn’t know Koschei snored like an obese lion. Sighing, he pulled off his jacket and pants, changing into his striped pajamas - TARDIS blue of course. He slid between the sheets just as another rumble shook the room. 

Nope, not sleeping, it turns out. Oh well, he didn’t really feel like it, and he could use some time in the library.

She must be bothered by the snoring too, because he walked out of their bedroom straight into sprawling library. Running his hands along the wood of the shelves, Theta silently thanked the TARDIS. She always knew what he was thinking. Out of all the rooms of the TARDIS, this was always his favourite. Even as a child, his family home’s library was where he spent all his hours, awake or not. 

Accompanied only by the sound of (his) bare feet slapping the floors, Theta strolled leisurely through the shelves. What was he in the mood for? Species profiles for the farthest planets? Human fiction, oooooh maybe some crime? Romance? Hmmm. He was maybe a bit old for that. His thoughts wandered to the man in his bed, and he grinned. No, definitely not too old. But Hercule Poirot pointing out the obvious seemed to be the perfect fit tonight.

About to turn the corner into the next section, he was stopped by the sight of several leather-bound albums spilling onto the floor. Eh, room transitions aren’t always smooth. Bending to realign them, he caught sight of the open pages: Gallifreyan, and littered with notes and photos. This could only be one thing… He’d been searching for his diaries for at least 50 years, but between running away and companions and maintaining the TARDIS, it slipped down the to-do list. These were some of the few physical recollections he had from his childhood and adolescence, his life on Gallifrey. He laughed out loud, shocked with joy at this discovery. Heaving them over to the nearest raised surface, he sifted through at least 7 albums to find the first one, the one of him as a child of 12. 

He started here. 

As he went back through the years, nearly a thousand years ago, there were tears, heartbreak, loss; and also joy, family, and love. It took several hours. He was up to the age of 19, when he became fascinated by Earth, when he heard foot steps coming up behind him. With a tired smile, he ignored it until soft hands landed heavily on his shoulders, and he leaned into their warmth.

“I thought you said you were coming to bed, love.” Theta could tell from his voice that his other half was well-rested. Good, he thought, he needed it.

“That was before I found out you snore like a freight train, love.” Turning with a coy smile, he really only added the ‘love’ to soften the blow. Koschei could be a bit sensitive.

“That is ridiculous! I do no such thing, humph.” Theta heard a stomp and the rustle of fabric; he was crossing his arms. You could hear the annoyance was half-feigned though. Silently chuckling, the taller man stood up, stretched then slinked over to the blonde, wrapping him up from behind and resting his head on the other’s shoulder. He relaxed into his touch.

“Oh I don’t mind Kosch, and there’s no need to be like that. I’ll love you no matter what,” he declared, pressing a kiss to his neck, “Besides, I found my old diaries and was just going through them. Want to see?” The smaller of the two hummed enthusiastically. Letting go and grabbing one of his hands, Theta led him to the arm chair and took the opposite one. Koschei picked up a page ripped from the spine. 

“What’s this? Why’s it ripped out?” Curiosity lit up his blue eyes as he scanned the page. “Written in English I see. Oh was this the Earth phase you went through?” He laughed lightly, thinking back. “I think I may have made fun of you for that…” 

“Oh yes you did, rather meanly actually! Read it, you’ll see why its ripped out.” Theta urged him to see what he’d written, what he’d felt. He cleared his throat, and began to read.

The page reads:  
Hello paper. Apologies, I don’t know how to address you, I don’t usually don’t write this sort of thing. Perhaps hello future me? I don’t know. But something…happened today. A new student was introduced into my class. He was said to be transferred to the Academy due to ‘extenuating circumstances’, whatever that means. I later heard that he wasn’t even initiated! 

He sat right down next to me, and I felt a jolt. A chill. It was strange, as it happened just as he turned to me. Beautiful was my first thought. He was beautiful. He had beautiful skin and hair and eyes… Those eyes. I felt as though I was drowning in a thousand turbulent seas.

I realised he was talking and refocussed. He was pointing at my desk, or the more likely thing, at what I had on my desk. Books and papers and ‘photographs’, as they were called. I begged his pardon, and he said, “What are those, ancient artefacts?”. He then proceeded to laugh at me, those oceans of his rippling from the vibration. I frowned, ignoring the fluttering inside that told me to make him smile again. 

“These are notes and relics from Earth, from their years 1999 to 2010. They’re a fascinating race…” I had tried to explain my interest, offering them up in hopes he’d accept them, and in turn, me. Instead, he turned back and scoffed, “So I was right.” The inherent dismissiveness of youth struck me then, and it was strangely painful. It hurt. It took a while to assess what caused the damage, and it hit home when I did: adoration. A split-second decision that changed everything.

How can I adore such an infuriating boy? And yes, even after one day, I adore him. It could just be the Earth research I’ve been doing seeping through, but I felt something in him, something hidden. In him… Him?!

What am I doing, talking about my affections for a boy, for a boy! What will my family think?! Oh sure, its widely accepted by every other family here, but not mine. 

I guess age has something to do with it, but how could I have let myself fall into this? Falling for this boy, this cruel beautiful boy with secrets in his eyes. Oh why for the love of time, would this happen to me?!

Its wrong, that’s what they’d say, my brothers and sisters and parents and family. Its wrong, and I’m wrong and I’ll be abandoned. 

I can’t. 

I can’t do this.

I can’t, I can’t let them see.

 

The last few words left his mouth, broken, and the silence echoed out, starting from where the slight man sat, eyes pinned to the paper in his hands, tears starting to leave home. Risen from his position on the armchair, Theta crept to him, watching for signs of distress, and distressed himself when he found them. He crouched in front of him, waiting.

“Kosch, what’s wrong love? Koschei?” He a hand along the contours of his face.

His voice took some coaxing, but it managed to take flight. “I didn’t- didn’t realise you gave your family up to be with m-me. Oh, I had no idea.” He reached out with a shaky hand, grasping tightly to Theta’s cool ones. He realised from the other’s warmth that he was cold. He returned the gesture. 

“I didn’t give them up, I left them alone. And besides, it took another, what, 100 years to finally have you?” He smiled into his now calm eyes, like the suns setting on their lost planet. Bright. “I wanted to show you this because I wanted you to know what I thought the first day I laid eyes on you. And to tell you that I still see you the same way.”

 

“Oh.” Was all he seemed to be able to say.t

“I wanted to tell you that I never thought I’d get this lucky in all my lifetimes, never have the lifetimes I’ve had because of you.” And he really did. Theta may have adored the boy in class that day, but he loved the man in front of him.

“Oh.” Koschei ran a hand through the other Time Lord’s hair, who closed his eyes, waiting for an answer. He always seemed to be waiting.

“That day, I was terrified. Scared out of my hearts. Shaking all over. A new city, a new school, new people. But not just any people, Time Lords, would you believe.” He laughed nervously, “And so when I saw a lonely boy sitting behind a mountain of books, I would have been friendly. You were, and still are, interesting! But that one day…I don’t know what happened.” He ducked his gaze then, but Theta lifted his chin using two fingers. When their eyes met again, he could see the love in them; it reassured him. 

“Its okay, that’s in the past now, love. Its okay.” Seeing he needed comfort, Theta slipped up into his lap, and he carded his hair. Koschei wound his arms around Theta, and lay his head against his shoulder. 

They breathed each other in. A fixed point in time, and with only the TARDIS as a witness.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. No one reads these bits, but we really are thankful.


End file.
